'Ask Tom'

Question

Get rid of the beard..you looked horrible at Living Room and the wedding pictures while you can have such a beautiful face with great hair.. Fine if you're happy with it but don't blame the world if your new album doesn't do anything, it isn't only about the songs/voice you know..

Amelie

Tom Says:

Thankyou you for comments, Amelie - It's always nice to return home after a couple of gigs to read a review or two. Have you ever seen the Gary Larson cartoon I reproduce here illegally (what the hell, we're all freetards now)? It reveals an insight into the ego of the artist as well as the mind of a dog - two not dissimilar concepts.

All my eyes saw when I read your commment, therefore, was "I have such a beautiful face with great hair". Thank you. It means a lot. To a man of my age.

P.S. I did actually read a bit further, and I also thank you for the advice concerning the future marketing of my music - however, I have long-since stopped blaming the world for many things, let alone the failure of my music to reach a huge audience. One day, Amelie, one day... it is only a matter of time.

I have come to quite like the world, actually, the bits of it I choose to look at anyway. Which includes you, Amelie. You came to my shows, and took the trouble to write me a note and search out pictures of me at a wedding on the internet (the pictures were on the internet - not the wedding, that would be plain weird)... and your note also kindly included grooming tips. This shows you care deeply, for which I really am grateful, and possibly - somewhat surprisingly - I really do like you a lot. Whoever you are.

I shall endeavour in many ways to never let you down, Amelie...especially in my music and my live performance.... although I may just keep the facial hair to annoy you a wee bit longer. Not paying too much attention to others is a prerequisite of survival in my job, and possibly yours too. As the Zen Master said to the novice - "it is always sensible to ignore advice, even this."

Yours

Tom

Question

Straight to the point - (and we don't want to seem shallow and superficial), but what the heck is happening with the barnet? Got it cut yet?

shazzadean

Tom Says:

Good grief, you make 5 albums, struggle to take your music to the masses, live the dedicated life of the true artist, and all they want to know about is your hair. This is but one of the many hair related questions submitted over the years.

But the question has been asked, and rather than shirk the challenge of an in depth answer, I have instead decided to take you on a journey through the styles - if such they can be called - that I have sported through the years.

#1 Not many options available to me at this point, although what I lacked in tonsorial flare I easily made up for with a frankly awesome choice of shorts. Notice if you will the slightly sour face, the sucking on a lemon expression, due mainly to the fact I'm sucking on a lemon. Either that or there has been a catastrophic failure of early '70s nappy technology.

#2 Skipping forward a few years, I am clearly already working on the slightly longer look for the more outré gentleman, although still struggling with the exact angle at which to cut the fringe for maximum dork factor. I can only imagine my mother was wielding the scissors. See how I was working the cherubic look, set off magnificently by my maroon blouse. Quite the heartbreaker.

#3 A minor lapse in sartorial judgement led to a period of self-disgust, as evinced by the McRae tartan tie and red tank top. There was only one way to truly carry off this look, and that was by grabbing the nearest bowl and trimming round it. With that hair and those teeth, no one even remembers the clothes.

#4 The teenage years can be awkward for anyone, but I have made a bold statement with spiky blond hair contrasting splendidly with my black digital watch. The languid posture clearly showing a maturing confidence, combined with an almost fatal inability to stand up in those jeans.

#5 Notice in this next picture of one of my earlier bands, how I am already beginning to commit to the idea of "hair as vital comedy tool". I like to think I was breaking new ground in this area, although if this photo is anything to go by, one or two of the others may have been ahead of me. The all-white look was also years ahead of its time, as was the use of cane furniture as a serious prop. Today's bands could learn a thing or two from this picture. Mainly what not to do at any cost.

Yes, isn't the guy top left rather good looking. Of course, that's why he had to go. There will be more of him on my upcoming autoblography, a section on the new, lovingly homemade site we are close to getting on line.

#6 It was nothing short of a tragedy then, having invested much time and effort into researching the most ridiculous hair cuts over the years, when my first label began to insist on new strategies for the barnet. They wanted it longer, shorter, blonder, darker... like all record labels they didn't know what they wanted, they just knew it wasn't what they had. So in typical rebellious fashion, I hacked it all off and this was the result. Like Samson before me, losing my hair meant losing my strength, and all the effort of looking cool has clearly exhausted me and I have fallen asleep. Either that or someone has made me listen to Lily Allen and completely sapped my will to live.

#7 And now, back to the present day, as the hair turns a majestic shade of grey, if only in the sparse beard, and we see the return of the slightly confused, indeterminate hair length, that hints at my dogged resistance to fashion, and my preference for the timeless look of the devil-may-care, too lazy to go to the hairdresser, older gent still carving out a career in the youth obsessed world of music. It is, I'm sure you agree, a look that I have at least made my own. Although apparently, as always, I am starting to subtly influence the next generation. Poor fools.

Question

Have you ever felt like nothing makes any sense to you, least of all yourself, that social interaction is just babbling incomprehensibly through plate glass, that everything seems to be an illusion? How do you function?

Tom Says:

Hmmm, now you mention it, yes. Although I prefer to think of my babbling as coming through stained glass, and therefore much prettier.

Everything is an illusion, except buses and trams, which are very real and can sneak up on you if you're not careful, so my advice is always look both ways.

How do I function? I wake up and plan my day... I divide it into 24 handy segments of roughly 60 minutes, of which I will only be awake for about 9. Then I further divide those twenty-four 60 minute segments into 4 bite-sized chunks of 15. In those 4 chunks of 15 minutes, I try to make sure at least one chunk features something enjoyable, like a cup of tea or a picture of a kitten. If enough tiny chunks of the day are used in this way, I believe it's possible to function and to actually lead a fulfilled life with moments of pleasure and profound joy.

If I actually look further ahead than that, I see a black chasm of despair so vast, bleak and depressing that I can't even dress myself.

Now, where's my cup of tea?

Question Dear Tom, Why are your two Takamines named Derek and Clive (on your setlists)? Tom Says: Well, I knew one day this would come up. It was a stupid way to mark the difference in guitars for my guitar technician ("roadie" we would have called them in the 70s). Derek was a standard Dreadnought shape, and thus began with a D. Clive was a cutaway shape, and so began with a C. Derek and Clive are alter egos of Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore. Simple. Now, in my head this all makes sense - so when I shouted at my tech: "Clive's got too sweaty, I need you to put a smooth and dry Derek into my hands NOW"... it was a simple request for a guitar change. Got it? P.S This is a picture of me with my Guild, which is a Jumbo Guitar, and begins with a J. Naturally, we call this guitar, THE GUILD.

Question

I saw, in your profile that you listen to "the good kind" of music. So I'd like to know, what is, according to you, the "good kind" of music ? I mean, I have been taught, and I am deeply convince (is that word correct in english ?) that there is no good or bad music, there is only music you like or dislike. The matter isn't what you listen to but what you feel when you are listening to the music. Thanks for paying attention to my question and sorry for the mistakes I must have done : my english is not as good as my french mother tongue.

Tom Says:

Your English is great, have no fear. Hmmmm, I suppose Kierkegaard in his Philosophical Fragments argued that truth can only be subjective, which is essentially what we're talking about here; the absence of absolute truth (a generic good music) as opposed to a sincerely held personal belief that whatever you like is whatever you like, and it is therefore subjectively valued as good. This would seem to be the rational answer to your question. However, Kierkegaard was a lying bastard seeking only worldly fame, capable of saying anything if he thought it would make a headline. The philosophical equivalent of Madonna. He is also wrong. There is bad music, bad art of all forms, and the world would be a better place if I could personally choose what was made available to be consumed by the public, rather than putting our faith in the free market to allow the cream to rise to the top and the shit to sink to the bottom. In pre-Glasnost Soviet Union, you could only buy the classics of Russian Literature. Not a Da Vinci Code to be found anywhere. And those classics sold in large numbers, because people wanted to read, and this was what was available. Now in the countries of the former Soviet Union it is possible to buy pretty much whatever old toss you want to read... Grisham? They got 'em. Chick lit? Coming out the wazoo. But strangely the total sales of books remains the same. Proving that if you give a human a choice, he or she will inevitably make the wrong decision. Human beings are lazy, 75 per cent water we take the route of least resistance, and it always leads down hill. So, to sum up.... is there a good music or a bad music? Nah, not really. Long as you listen, dance, laugh, cry, it could be Abba or Zappa. Just give Madonna a miss. Tom

Question

Hey! This is going to be a strange question; of this I am aware. So would you rather pull all of your veins out with tweezers, interview Madonna-in her fake British accent, no less-about hungry cats, be forced to vote for John McCain, or put up shelves? Just curious...

Tom Says:

There was a cartoon in a recent New York paper of Madonna asking her lawyer about her divorce settlement, with the caption: "Do I get to keep the accent?". Made me chuckle. This is one of many Madonna themed questions recently. Years ago, when I was full of piss and vinegar and moral fury, I would have ranted about Madonna being culturally toxic, a vapid role model for empty ambition that has fuelled a misguided generation of young women who believed she represented power, liberation, sexual equality and spiritual enlightenment. Now I don't really care. I take this position as I believe it would hurt her the most, to have someone be not outraged by her, not fascinated by her, just bored. Having said that, I picked this question to answer, somewhat trampling my own point in the process. I can only hope that soon Lourdes will move back to New York and cement a proper accent, as I fear that being raised by Guy and Madge will leave her sounding like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. So, to the answer. What was the question again? Er... I'll interview Madonna. The first option is painful and dangerous, as is the third and fourth. If McCain wins however, I will gladly pull my veins out with tweezers. Tom
 

Question

JET ENGINE LULLABY, Whatever happened to this song? Will it ever surface on a cd? Could you play it when you come to the Hotel Cafe in Nov?

Tom Says:

Hmmmm, I have no idea. I may have just fallen out of love with it, or it didn't survive the recording process - sometimes these things just fade away, like making eye contact with a girl on the subway but never asking her name, or Liverpool's championship dreams...

All unrecorded songs live on in some great MP3 player in the sky, to be downloaded one day by another songwriter searching for inspiration - probably for as little as 9 cents. Could I play it in LA? I doubt I could remember the chords, but stranger things have been known to happen.

Tom
 

Question

hi there , uhm there is something that i have been thinking about for a while now but i didn't dare to ask you at the time. Well ,I was the girl who threw the panties on stage in Utrecht and you looked annoyed or something ,we thought it would be funny and actually I still think it was , just checking ...
bye x nele

Tom Says:

Hi Nele, I can't imagine I would have been annoyed. Things like that could happen more often if you ask me... knicker throwing never seems to happen enough to singer-songwriters. Are we not human? Do we not need love? Is it too much to ask that people throw under garments at us to express their recognition of the passionate souls performing for their pleasure? If I made a funny face I can only apologise. I can look a bit weird when I sing. Did I take them with me? What happened to them? Ah, we always have a good time in Utrecht. Except when we're robbed at gunpoint. But panties can make up for that.

Tom

P.S If this starts a craze of throwing pants, can it just be the women? No men.
 

Question

I'm wondering if there's anywhere I can view/hear your performance of "Language of Fools" on the Conan O'Brien show from probably 5+ years ago. Thanks!

Tom Says:

Good question, I have no idea. I take it you've tried YouTube? I'd like to hear it myself. I remember being freezing cold in the studio (apparently you can only be funny if it's cold) and the audience didn't stop cheering until we'd nearly finished the song. I think they were wound up by the floor manager to a point of high excitement and no one warned us they'd scream for so long. Still, it was nice to be on Conan. I still have the sign they made for my dressing room door. Sad, I know... but those little things are souvenirs of exciting times.
 

Question

I saw you in Atlanta, GA when you opened up for the Water Boys and became an instant fan. Any plans to ever come back to Atlanta?

Thanks,

Jerry Adams

Tom Says:

Hello Jerry. That seems a long time ago now, was it the Roxy we played? I remember a great little theatre, and also playing an in-store somewhere that day. It's all starting to get lost in the mists of time. I'd love to come back to Atlanta but alas have no real plans to just yet, as all my touring in the states is self-funded right now and I can only play a select few cities. Maybe you can book a trip out to East or West coasts one day. If not, hold a house party, invite me, and we'll see what we can do!

Question

What kind of car do you drive?
- naomirlord

Tom Says: I have never driven. What was embarrassing for half my adult life has now given me greater claim to eco-warrior status. Alas, air miles now firmly put me in the category of evil-doer. If and when I ever learn to drive, I will design and build my own car that runs entirely on the empty promises of supposedly green politicians, I expect it to get infinite miles to the gallon, but be totally, unusable as most politicians' emissions are noxious in the extreme.
 

Question

when are you next in manchester tractor boy?
- mtdykes

Tom Says: Unless this is a movie in which I have been unwittingly cast, or an enquiry of a sexual nature, I'm not entirely sure... but I expect to be in Manchester (the city) at some point early 2008 with the new Hotel Café Tour. Tractor boy? Possibly a reference to some ill-informed rumours that I am an Ipswich fan. Or again, my super-hero cover has finally been blown. Make up your own gags, I went with "Tractor Boy, there's nothing he can't pull"... but I'm sure you can do better.
 

Question

Will you be coming to other cities in the States any time soon? You seem to stick to the North East but I am sure you would have a good audience if you chose to do a single show in Chicago. All of your fans scattered throughout the Midwest would all travel to see you there so you might even have a good turn out.
- mebby

Tom Says: See below for joint answer
 

Question

Tom, First off, I really love your music, thanks for sharing your talent with us...ever consider seeing (and/or performing in) the rest of the US, as in "flyoverland", that great expanse of middle America, between the coasts? We may not be quite so precious, but we're real and you really should see a Green Bay Packer football game once in your life!
- Mary

Tom Says: I would love to do more shows across the states generally, and I'm looking into ways of making it happen, unfortunately it's just cost stopping me. All my touring is self-funded (or more accurately - fan funded), so I have to stick to the places where my popularity (I use the term loosely) means I can afford to play. I once played in Madison, which is in Wisconsin, right? And I'm sure I'll get to more places soon, I plan to base myself more in the States than in Europe for the next year or two. So start booking the GBP tickets, although strictly speaking I have to side with the Giants!
 

Question

hi tom, i would like to listen to your album for free on this site. so i don't have to out and get it, eventhough is really, really good. where dit it go? (like the 'all maps welc
- novita

ps: do you have a diverse fanbase? because i went to your show in utrecht and it was mostly a white male 20/30-something audiance. it was.. weird.

Tom Says: I admire your candour and appreciate the compliments. My music is considered highly subversive ( likely to lead to spontaneous acts of love, withdrawal of labour, and bizarrely, the purchase of bubble-making products) and like certain other notable absentees from the roll call of modern culture (i.e truth, beauty, integrity etc) ...it is only available to those who know where to get it. If you ever locate a copy please inform the authorities, or any of my myriad record companies, who will dispatch Men In Black to destroy any evidence that said records actually existed. A player for this site will appear at some point, for your free-listening pleasure. Or alternatively, you could buy a ticket for a show, come see me play, buy a tee-shirt as well as all the albums, and help me put my three illegitimate children through college. Two of them have consumption and one has the head of an owl, but we don't want your pity, just your money.
 

Question

Hi, you did a song at the rescue rooms in nottingham recently that you said you haven't managed to "nail" in the studio. Is it the track with "I'll go lightly on, my way; and you'll go lightly on, the same"? If so, will you be recording it because it's brilliant! If not, which bloody album is it on?
- Liz

Tom Says: No. That song is called "An Alphabet of Hurricanes" and is as yet unrecorded. The song I was referring to is "The Only Thing I know" which has been attempted several times in the studio, but as I now have a pathological fear of popularity and cannot bear the thought of a song of mine on the radio, or being enjoyed by anyone who hasn't read Moby Dick - and finished it - the song will probably remain forever in the ether, untamed by man or machine. Some things are better that way.
 

Question

bonjour toi ! j'ai découvert ton album par un copain texan. Il écoutait toujours un album de toi (où il y avait une chanson quiparlait d'une cadillac rouge je crois)et où tu chantais avec une fille (mayby your wife) et il avait aussi un album d'elle mais je ne me souviens plus son nom : peux tu me le rappeler s'il te plait ? je t'aime
- Dany

Tom Says: Ce n'est pas moi. Je n'ai jamais chante une chanson comme ca. Desole. But thanks for the enquiry. I will now go away and write a song about a Cadillac Rouge - just pour toi.
 

Question

I'm entering into a civil partnership in 2 weeks (July 28th) - wanna come to the ceremony??

Been with partner for nearly 18 years (we wanted to be sure..) and in the crazy, fucked up world we're living in right now, are the happiest 2 people that ever walked the face of the Earth. Hope you can make it.
- Nigel

Tom Says: congratulations! fantastic news... it is a bold and romantic step, and I applaud you for it and wish you every success for the future. Happiness is the natural enemy to cynicism, and I think I felt the world just get a little less crazy and a little less fucked up than it was before. Sorry I couldn't make it, but I'm sure you will.
 

Question

Dear Tom, Please, excuse my english. He's not very good... I just want to know why you don't come in Dijon ! I've see you 2 times and I'm sad you don't come here. I love your music, so, please try to come in my beautiful city (Dijon !) Please, please, please!!!
- Maïlys

Tom Says: Don't worry... your English... he's fine. I'm sure I'll get back there sometime, I remember playing le Vapeur - Je crois - many times before, and enjoying it every time. The city is beautiful I agree, the people at the venue are the best, the food is great, we are treated well...and the fans warm and appreciative. So why wouldn't I come back? Maybe next year? Maybe some day?
 

Question

Ed Harcourt. Dangerous shadowy nemisis or fellow comrade in arms fighting for decent live music and resonable record copmpanies?
- Anna

Tom Says: Following a violent falling out over who got to wear the biggest side-burns in singer-songwriterdom, Ed and I have officially been at war since the mid 90's. It was distasteful in the extreme that we were both nominated for the Mercury Prize in 2001, and it was all we could do to remain civil and confine our ill-will to a minor food fight involving soft fruit. Any sightings of us together at numerous parties, gigs or pub corners arguing over which Randy Newman album is the best are all lies and rumour. I hate him and always will. Ed, that is, not Randy Newman.
 

Question

We guess you are happy with the bubbels we shoot at you some gigs... The look on your face says it all... How would you react if you were overloaded with tons of bears, thrown by young screaming fans? (Would you store them and keep a ritual burning once in a while?) Hummingbird & Nessler
- elisa.tjampens

Tom Says: The bubble thing started off being bizarre ("I'm the Prince of Darkness - I can't have bubbles") but it now amuses me, none more so than at the Cactus festival, where it seemed as though lots of people had brought bubbleguns, and the air was filled with them. I can't compete with the show that The Flaming Lips put on, but it was a touching moment nevertheless. The floating particles of detergent also cleaned my shirt quite nicely. So I thank you, and my touring party thank you.

To answer the second part of your question, it does happen at some gigs, and we have large ritual burning of them twice yearly. The young, screaming fans, that is.
 

Question

Sunday July 8th, I was a happy person, you gave such a great performance, the belgian people loved it. BUT I am so so so sorry! Tom, I was standing next to you on cactus festival in Brugge-Belgium, watching The Flaming Lips. You asked my name. 'Dorine' I said, and then, only a few minutes, I had the chance to talk with the man whose music brings a lot of happiness to me (suprised?), and I just asked the very worst questions someone could ever imagine. 'Why is everyone passing you by?' 'I am not famous' you answered. And secondly I said your first album is the best there is, while you are probably working so hard to perform better. But once a fan, allways a fan. It's just that I got hit by the first note of that first album. And it's like your first real love, you never forget. So Tom, forgive me. I will definitely see you in Octobre, wishing I had a second chance... but oh yes, there is no such a thing as a god, that makes wishes come true. (in the meantime: be sad, be mad, be dark, we'll love it and make you happy)
- Dorine.

Tom Says: I remember you well, Dorine...( do you know the Frank Zapper song of the same name - different spelling? It's possibly on Tinsel Town Rebellion or You Are What You Is...?) ...and I have been asked far worse things than your questions. You were charming and polite. For you, I will endeavour to be the saddest, maddest and darkest it is possible to be. Thankfully that mood is easy to access these days. You are therefore formally charged with the task of making me happy. Good luck with that particular rock, Sisyphus. See you in October.
 

Question

Hey Tom, I was just listening to your song, Sao Paulo Rain...and i thought, what kind of genre of music is this exactly? I mean, it aint rock, it aint country and it aint pop...so what is it? Maybe you could create your own genre....but you rock man, in the literal sense...KEEP PLAYING THE WORLD TILL WE DIE!!!!!!!!
- Peter

Tom Says: Thanks, Peter. My music is genre, as well as sales - defying. I have heard it called many things over the years, but I like to think of it as "neo-naïve-post-ironic-one-four-five-progression-obsessed-acoustifroktronica-with-words-and-stuff". But then there are so many musicians now claiming to be this, it's becoming too common place. So I just run with the answer I give immigration every time I land at JFK: " Oh, you know, tunes and stuff". I usually add, "no, you won't have heard of it". That usually suffices.

And... "KEEP PLAYING THE WORLD TILL WE DIE!!!!!!!!"... about another ten years then. Will do my best.
 

Question

Hi Tom, Which is your favourite type of biscuit?
- Andy

Tom Says: Bourbon. Not too fancy, but reliable and sturdy when dunked in tea.
 

Question

In several of your songs there's a very beautiful cello part. Do you play the cello yourself, or have you played it? What place does this instrument have in your life?
axl_cmoi

Tom Says: I play all the instruments myself, perfectly. Then so as not to seem egotistical I hand the string parts over to Oli Kraus who plays them slightly less perfectly so people believe a human played it, rather than the cello-god that I am.

No, I don't play cello. My mum did. Then she sold it to buy a fridge. Really. I can however play a fridge. But Oli plays it better, he plays most things better. He's a genius, and you should check out his own music on CD Baby.
 

Question

hi tom, really excited about the new album. my question is... were you the boy with the bubblegum? and wat is the story behind this song? looking forward to seeing you live in June. thanks
- james

Tom Says: I don't like to explain songs, which sounds like a cop out... but it spoils the mystery. A more comprehensive answer to this question can be found in part one of my forthcoming autobiography "THE BOY WITH THE BUBBLEGUN - the early years - or "TRAVELS WITH MY MESSIAH COMPLEX", as the film is to be called. Leo DiCaprio is to play me. I will play Oli Kraus.
 

Question

In your opinion, what is the greatest song ever written?
- gstevens08

Tom Says: My opinion changes hourly - but you have to go some to beat the chord change in Wichita Lineman by Jimmy Webb. Sung by Johnny Cash or Glen Campbell... both are good versions.
 

Question

Circumstances made me wonder this. I've just had lunch and way too much wine. Now I'm trying to give the impression of being focused on my work but I know I only look like an idiot. So my question is: what to do to look smart and brilliant when you're completely pissed? Can the answer come quickly please? I kind of need it immediately. Thanks
- eloise_magic

Tom Says: Looking brilliant at work while pissed is a challenge. I only hope you are not a surgeon or pilot. People can be fooled into many things, like thinking a hat is an excuse for not developing a personality, or that a ringtone is amusing, or that a land war in the middle-east is a good idea... my point is fooling others is easy. Imagine you are primeminister and those around you are the electorate, now say and do whatever you like. They will think you are brilliant for approximately 6 years, long enough for most of us to sober up.
 

Question

Did the compass I gave you in Marseille help you to find the good map?? Cheers!!
- misterywhitegirl

Tom Says: Lost the compass didn't I? Now I just need a metal detector to find the compass, to find the map, to find my way back... I don't know why I swallowed the fly.
 

Question

Apart from the obvious influences you have been connected with is there any type of music that you have a guilty pleasure of? To you have a love for Death Metal at all for example?
- Mad_Mad_In_The_Attic

Tom Says: My first musical heroes were Iron Maiden, really. I still have the tee shirt. But I bestow equal rights on all music, if you like it you like it, why feel guilty?
 

Question

Hi Tom, I went to see you in 2005 play at the Nottingham Marcus Garvey Centre. It was certainly my first gig in an aircraft hanger-how about you? PS looking forward to seeing you again at the Rescur Rooms next month.
- James

Tom Says: I've actually played a real aircraft hangar, but I couldn't get much of a tune out of it. hahahahaha....Ah... Roy Castle... where are you now? Dead of course, from secondary smoking - bastards. Where was I? How strange was that gig? Perhaps someone more popular and successful was in the better venue that night (let's start with the 'A's' and work down).... But I bet we had more fun.
 

Question

Hello dear Mr McRae, I like how your last name sounds kind of Scottish. Anyhoo, have you heard of Dave Matthews Band? I love Dave Matthews Band and I was wondering what other people's opinion on this band is. Best regards and stuff
- Laura B

Tom Says: Kind of Scottish - or actually Scottish? I have my own tartan, don't you know? It's horrible, like three different kinds of dog threw up. I know of Dave Matthews, did a gig with him once many years ago. Lovely man, amazing singer and guitarist. Not so wild about his band, but he's great. Although largely unknown in Europe. We have that in common.
 

Question

First of all I want you to know that your music means so much to me, and that I love your new album. Just like blood still stands as my favorite Tom-album, and one of the best albums I have heard in my life. But I love your ability to change from album to album, and I love everything you have done. You kick ass!!:-D My question to you is: Out of all the songs on your albums, which one is your favorite?
- lille_meg22

Tom Says: My favourite song is always the one I've just written. In this case it's a song called "An Alphabet of Hurricanes" - or it's called that today, at least. Wait... one of the best?
 

Question

In a parallel universe you've just pipped Victoria Beckham to the number 1 spot in the singles chart. What do you wear on Top Of The Pops (it's still on TV there...)? Nick, Sydney AUS - goldengreen1

Tom Says: The severed head of Condoleezza Rice.
 

Question

What's it like being called Jeremy?
- elvensteed

Tom Says: Good question...I think names are really important, and statistically can affect your social and economic status. I didn't want to end up reading the news or running a sanctuary for battered swans. Although when a Brazilian says "Jeremy", it's almost beautiful. But when a Brazilian says "toffee hammer" that sounds good too. I'm sticking with Tom, until my next regeneration.
 

Question

would you fly or would you sing? - ebruley

Tom Says: Easy... I'd fly. The hummingbird made the right choice. She always does.
 

Question

The first song of yours I've ever heard was "You cut her hair". I was mesmerized. Later on I heard it's a song about Auschwitz, which completed the really sad story. Coming from Krakow, a really short distance from the place, I wonder if it's true. Have you been to Auchwitz or any other concentration camp? I realise it's not a funny, or what-did-you-have-for-lunch-today kind of question, but I've always wondered about it.
- MAJA

Tom Says: Yes, not funny, but a good question. I actually wrote it after a trip to Dachau, but I guess it can apply to any similar places. Everyone should go and feel what it's like to stand in those places. The world would be a different place.
 

Question

what do you think about bill hicks?
- rondars

Tom Says: Ah, I've been rumbled. The man was and is one of my modern prophets, along with Michael Franti... and possibly Christiano Ronaldo. When confronted with tricky situations I always think "what would Bill do?" I could write essays on this subject, but it's been done. Simply put, the man was a genius, who disguised his love and empathy for humanity behind vicious, and viciously funny comedy. I feel his loss everyday. The planet is a lonelier place without him.
 

Question

What do you see as hopeful?
- jrn

Tom Says: That some cyclists who ding their bells for me to get out the way when I stroll slowly along the canal path actually sometimes say thankyou. It brings tears to my eyes.
 

Question

Dear Tom, Have you ever been to Israel? And what would you say if you knew that I have been a big fan of your music since the first album, and I am a 20 year old female from Israel, who also happens to be a soldier in the army? Sometimes I think you would want nothing to do with me, but then I think it's a shame, because I think we could have such an interesting conversation, and we actually have a very similar opinion about most things, I'm sure... well I don't expect you to answer this on your website, but I wish you read this and just always remember that nothing is black or white, and well that you have many fans in Israel :)
- asya86

Tom Says: Never ever think for a second that I would have nothing to do with you. The world is a fucked up place, and if individuals are blamed for the actions of their government then we all have blood on our hands. I would love to come and play in Israel, I think I would have to find a way to play in Palestine and Lebanon too - just for my conscience - but maybe one day we can have that conversation. In all the recent years of travelling I have come to realise one thing about the human race: we are all the same. One day everyone will come to know that. I hope you and your loved ones stay safe.
 

Question

What does "I'm tired of fighting" mean?
- tasset_lucy

Tom Says: It's a character from the record's final words. Get googling....
 

Question

What is the point of Weight Watchers bottled water?
- mj_kwango

Tom Says: To make money for Weight Watchers, obviously. But like the lottery, religion, and democracy, these are self-sealed eco-systems and shouldn't really trouble a clearly intelligent man like yourself. Think of them as habitat enrichment for the lesser apes in captivity who can't quite figure out that the banana's hidden in the tyre. It's in the tyre people. Look up!
 

Question

when i am elected president of britain, my first act will be to throw a celebration in my own honour, at which the highlight will be shania twain lowered legs first into an industrial mincer...which "musical act" would you most like to dispense with in a similar fashion...? (oh and would you like a position in my cabinet*) *political, not my cupboard of course, most unfortunately they're full of ladies shoes
- mark-james.gill

Tom Says: I had dinner with Shania Twain once - a story for another time - I feel very little genuine animosity to any musicians, life is too short. Although I would offer assistance to anyone trying disembowel Madonna with a rusty trowel. She is culturally toxic. 'But, Tom… she's so empowering as a feminist icon' - no, she's a talentless daughter-whore of satan. Go listen to the actual music. Second thoughts, don't bother.
 

Question

have you ever ridden an ostrich?
- goingdownslow

Tom Says: They're the people from Ostria right? Sorry... .No, it's a large feathered thing right?Never ridden one… but I've eaten one. Or some of one. Not a whole one. That's a lot of bird. With the career path I'm on right now, I expect to be touring on something similar next year. .
 

Question

were you genuinely offended by the bubblegun at King Tuts? Do you worry that we don't take your music seriously enough?
- gkrspalmer

Tom Says: Not offended in anyway. I take my music far more seriously than I take myself. In fact, I can frequently be found in hysterics at the patent absurdity of my life to date.
 

Question

Hey there,

I think I've mailed you twice now over the passed few years and well, here I go again..

I was wondering at what point you switched from idealism to euhm well, cynicism if I may call it that.You used to be a vegetarian which tells me you did have some hope of changing things, and being a musician and songwriter for that matter, you must at some point have hoped that you could have an influence on a pretty big scale.

Yet now you seem to have lost hope for humanity partly because of politics and partly 'cause we're all going to die anyway thanks to global warming. So, I guess my question is, what happened in order for you to drastically change your view on things? (I'm Belgian, so please forgive my crappy grammar and sentence structure)

Hope you're not too busy to answer this one,
- fienl

Tom Says: You're grammar is fine don't worry. Despite occasional fits of passing despair I haven't lost faith, not in me, not in you and not in the small but important things in life. One day I will die, but I still get up in the morning. Just as our species is going to die out, maybe sooner rather than later, however there is still a battle to be fought, even if it's just because it's the right thing to do. You don't have to succeed at something for the fight not to have been worth it (take my music for instance). If I despair of anything right now, it's the way capitalism (and it's evil henchman - the mass media) has hijacked environmentalism and turned a genuine issue into gesture politics. Carbon trading? Tree planting? Please, how stupid do they think we are? Plus I could never fully support a cause Razorlight were involved with. Does it bother anyone else that the lead singer is just Tony Blair with longer hair.
 

Question

Can you hear traces of your fellow Hotel Cafe musicians' work in King Of Cards? I can! Are you influenced by songs you're hearing played night after night?
- lizgarlinge

Tom Says: I am happy to be influenced by anything I consider to be good - as long as I'm not ripping anybody off. The musician friends I have all influence me in a positive way, from the genius lyrics of Brian Wright and Kevin Devine, to the intricate guitar playing of Steve Reynolds. As TS Eliot said (and I maybe paraphrasing) "the immature poet borrows, a mature poet steals"... and I'm not ashamed to say that I've been a gifted thief in my time.